I do not, whatsover, understand CPO. I’ve heard it called “the last lonely frontier” of Moody, and [Freshman Opinion Alert!] I’m pretty sure that’s true.
I didn’t get my CPO until a week after I was here. I didn’t realize I could get it earlier and I didn’t even know where to find CPO, anyway. It’s down the stairs, past the SDR, past the murals, past the creepy boiler thingy that turns the tunnel into a sauna, past the first three walls of boxes you see, and around the corner from the door that’s always open so you can see the room that looks like the inside of our shed with better lighting and white floors.
Here’s how [not] successful my visits to the Wild West have been so far:
Visit Numero Uno: When I finally got my CPO number, I a) couldn’t find my box (thanks, non-consecutive numbering system!) b) had to have Campus Thor* open it for me because the combination locks are incomprehensible, and c) pulled out a whole ton of mail…none of which belonged to me.
Visit Numero Dos: Since I’d been incapable of working the combination, I visited CPO a few days later to try to work the combination myself. Six tries later, looking like a classic freshman with my blue card in one hand and those patented CPO-combination-squinty-eyes, I realized that there’s a little clear pane in the box that shows you if you actually have mail. Of course I’d been spending all that time trying to open an empty box. So I spun the combination on the off-chance that it’d magically open, which, of course, it didn’t. So I left.
Visit Numero Tres: I waited to go back for two weeks because I knew I wouldn’t be able to open the thing anyway. By then I knew I had a lot of Amazon stuff that’d come in that I needed. So I walked up to my box, ready to haggle that darn thing into submission. I barely turned the knob and the door popped open! I may or may not have tried to leave the box unlocked so in the future I didn’t have to figure out how that all happened. I turned in the two green slips and one pink slip, picked up my two boxes, started to walk out, and the postal dude said “Hey!” and handed me a third box while looking at me like I was crazy. How was I supposed to know that package notifications come in multiple colors and all mean the same thing?
So I walked back to my room with three large Amazon boxes in my arms and got random comments about how great a day I was having; which was completely true. I’d actually opened my CPO box!
Except I have no clue how I did. So next time I’ll either be standing there with my eyes shut and spinning that knob in hopes of that magic opening again, or I’ll be yelling at Heimdall to send Campus Thor back. I’m not sure which is more realistic.
Maybe missing you and a mailbox that doesn’t require magic to open,
*tall, long blond hair, super-friendly, but…a less-attractive Thor? Because, let’s face it, it’s a Bible college, and nobody here is Chris Hemsworth.