Letters From An MBI Student – 9/15

Dear Family,

Out of all the things that I thought I might have trouble with at school, words was not one of them. But then I have a day with the same words that aren’t the same words and my brain seizes them and says: “Yay! Words! Let’s overthink them!” and a field day ensues because what has been said out loud is only half of it. I really need to get that fixed, but in the meantime, try these four on for size:

 

Boss 1: Where are you going?

Brain: Huh? The stairs? Wait, was I in trouble? Did she think I was going someplace I shouldn’t? I was just walking down the stairs. IT’S JUST STAIRS. Maybe I go sneak off and sit in a corner and text? Wait, maybe it was small talk. Dang, I hate small talk. Sound convincing.

Me: My office?

 

Coworker: Where are you going?

Brain: Context. Context. Does my life have to be interesting all the time? If I say “nowhere” am I boring? Or is that sarcasm? Context. What were we talking about? I don’t remember. ABORT! Talk about something safe!

Me: I intend to do nothing but sleep.

 

Boss 2: Where are you going?

Brain: Say you aren’t, because you aren’t.

Brain: But if I say I’m not, will I have to work instead? Will they ask for extra? Must. Do. Laundry.

Brain: Say you are, even if you aren’t. Gone, not doing laundry. Laundry is a lame excuse.

Brain: But where?

Brain: Just be occupied somewhere with something! Interesting! Someone? Just don’t say homework or laundry.

Me: A homework meeting? And then I have to do laundry. And…stuff.

 

Student: Where are you going?

Brain: I don’t even remember. Just somewhere. Do I have to tell you? I’m going to be a hermit and climb my small mountain of homework and read alone for hours and hours and enjoy it. Let’s not say that. Be vague. And occupied.

Me: Joe’s.

*Bonus Question: Can I come with?

Brain: Say no. You won’t get anything done. You will talk all the times because you like this person and haven’t seen them today. She will talk all the times because she does. Say no. Be bold!

Me: Sure!

 

[disclaimer: yes, most of them have to do with the 5-car pileup between an introvert and an expectation. Such is life.]

 

And at the bottom of it all are things like this that keep me sane.

Lady: Where are you going?

Brain: Homework. Somewhere. Laundry. Probably. Sleep. Please. Silence. Yes. Food. Again. Homework. Always.

Me: I don’t know.

Lady: Okay.

 

Maybe missing you and your own version of sanity,

~Rae

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Letters From An MBI Student – 9/23

Dear Family,

Some days you really need to study. Some days a friend really needs to talk.

Some days your three hours of study time disappear in two hours of conversation.

*

Some days you really want to make brownies or something with sugar or something just really, really sweet. Some days your body hates the things you really want.

Some days you make them anyway and your apartment smells like heaven all day.

*

Some days you want to cut class. Some days you think you probably should in order to study.

Some days you don’t and you realize you wanted to come just because you wanted to say the Apostle’s Creed like you always do.

*

Some days you think you’re going to fail the drive test. Some days you think you should cope with coffee or excuses or something equally artificial.

Some days you drive your best and make a friend.

*

Some days you try to study. Some days your mind says “Nope.”

Some days you pretend that you’re okay with failure even when you’re not.

*

Some days you meet a friend. Some days a friend buys you coffee.

Some days you get coffee when you least expect it and everything is wonderful.

*

Some days you think you’re going to fail the test you couldn’t study for. Some days you sit and talk to a friend because that’s what is needed. Some days you go to class instead of cutting it to study. Some days a creed means more to you than normal. Some days you find out things you didn’t want to know. Some days you find out things you truly needed to know.

Some days you ace your test, find a friend, sip a coffee, sing a song, learn a truth, gain a hug. Some days you don’t learn about the grace of God. Some days you do.

Maybe missing you,

~Rae

The Soul

Part Four: Time and Eternity

CXXI

THE SOUL should always stand ajar.
That if the heaven inquire,
He will not be obliged to wait,
Or shy of troubling her.

Depart, before the host has slid
The bolt upon the door,
To seek for the accomplished guest—
Her visitor no more.

~Emily Dickinson

Letters From An MBI Student – 9/12

Dear Family,

I’m writing to share proof that I am at a Bible college. I can now confirm that the stereotype is true, and so are comments like these: “I don’t know math! Why do you think I came to Moody?”

It’s not Moody’s fault, per se, but it’s just the way of things here. Sadly, the relative lack of STEM individuals is demonstrative all by itself that Moody is a Bible college. Now I just have documented, quotable proof of it. Enjoy.

[This conversation is directly transcribed from an incident that took place in front of me, in class, during the break. Today. All individuals are college students who are at least juniors. All individuals were male, but how that influenced this conversation is under review. All nicknames are pending.]

[I have no clue how this conversation started, but I do know that all individuals involved were serious in their opinions. Save us all.]

Young Daschle – “The Pythagorean Theorem. You know, a + b = c.”

Baby Einstein – “What?”

Ex-Thor – “You know, if a is b and b is c, then a is c.”

Young Daschle – “The Pythagorean Theorem.”

Baby Einstein – “No, that’s a2 + b2 = c2

Young Daschle – “We’re not trying to find the circumference.”

Ex-Thor – “That’s 2πr2. Boom!” *mic drop*

Baby Einstein – *headdesk*

[True story.]

Maybe missing you,

~Rae

 

 

Letters from an MBI Student – 8/22 Notes

Dear Family,

So how is school? Well, it’s the first day of class, and here’s how it started.

6:00 – Alarm #1. What is happening?

6:05 – Alarm #1.1. I must have hit snooze? Why am I waking up to birds chirping? This is weird.

6:10 – Alarm #2. Bells. Huh? Oh, right. New phone, new ringtones, still the same Dismiss button.

6:20 – Alarm #3. My poor roommates. I forgot to tell them this. Hope they don’t hear. Or mind. Snooze.

6:25 – Alarm #3.1. Five more minutes? Snooze. Or was it Dismiss?

6:30 – Alarm #4. Oh, now or never. Dismiss. But I’m up.

6:50 – I will be late, or maybe not. “Wonderwall” by Hurts takes me halfway to PT.

7:30 – PT is done and I am back and starving and leaving before having breakfast is as terrible an idea as I thought it would be. The first and only time I will leave my room before sustenance.

7:40 – Stuff my face, stuff my backpack, do dishes, make a list – these all happen somewhere in here.

7:50 – Makeup is overrated. Today is a Husker shirt day. What do I need? What am I supposed to be doing? What is today?

8:10 – Monday morning and Joe’s is open. Two old floormates to greet, one kid in a suit to run into, my full name is written on a coffee cup (that hasn’t happened in a while), and the new counter at Joe’s is exactly where the broken-hearted dudes sit at a bar. The kid in the suit agrees. He takes a seat.

8:20 – where am I going? I’ve turned into one of those kids who walks and is on their phone and will probably run into a pole, but Hallelujah, I have a phone that works and it doesn’t take me 15 minutes to log in and look up my classroom.

8:25 – in my first classroom, not lost, an acquaintance next to me, and the perfect seat.

I could continue, but you get the point. Basically, every minute is full and I feel like I’m hitting Snooze to give myself five more minutes until the next thing. But I’m not adding time to my day, I’m just pretending to.

Welcome back to Moody. Maybe I’ll write to you in class next time, since sitting in a classroom is the only time I have to catch my breath so far.

Maybe missing you,

~Rae